Fixing My Fear

This past weekend, I had the opportunity to share a message that is near to my heart. It was all about the locked doors in our lives. After Jesus' death on the cross, the disciples were full of fear and confusion and uncertainty. What did they do? They did what every one of us have done at times...they locked themselves behind a closed door.


No doubt we have physically locked a few doors in our life to escape the pains of the world, but we have locked them metaphorically as well. I have done that more times than I can count. I hold a lot of fear in my life that I really shouldn't. Specifically, I struggle with the fear of inadequacy and I have tried my best to mask that fear often.  


During the message I shared that I sometimes wish to retreat into my office (if you want to call my basement surrounded by concrete an office) and just lock the door. I do that sometimes just to escape, but I do it primarily so that I can seek God in order that He might "fix" me.


Earlier this week, I got an email from one of our Skyliners that shared an interesting thought...one that I truly took to heart.

"When you mentioned desiring to retreat to your office, it made me think that if even though I believe that the Lord is more than able and willing to fix anything that I bring Him, I too would rather He fix me in private. However, were the Lord to fix me where I was hiding, all the things that drove me into hiding would keep me from coming out of hiding and telling about it. I believe the Lord would rather fix me in the open so others can witness His loving redemption."

WOW!!!   No truer words have ever been spoken. While I do still see value in seeking God in a very private way, entering into a closet if you will, this thought stirred my heart. It made me think of two scary words...Accountability and Transparency.


I encourage everyone to seek accountability. Seek people with whom you can be COMPLETELY open and honest with. Seek people with whom you can share your struggles with, your failures with, and your fears with. I personally have three people in my life that fit the bill. My wife first and foremost, but I also have two trusted MALE friends who know everything about my life and keep me accountable putting my feet to the fire if necessary. They counsel with me, pray with me and for me, and are there when I am tempted to lock the door of my heart. Every single believer needs this kind of accountability in their life.


I also encourage transparency. Granted, there are some things you can't be specifically and detailingly (a word taken from Lance's unabridged dictionary) transparent about with every single person. However, I strongly believe that people should understand that we are no different than other people in that we all struggle with or have struggled with things like fear, doubt, guilt, and hurt. If you are a Christian, you are not Superman. You are a human being that deals with your humanity everyday.


Allow God to "fix" your brokenness. There is some privacy needed in pieces of that process, but if those around you can't witness what God is doing in your heart...what good is it for them. As they see God restore hope and purpose in you, they too can understand He can provide the same for them.